From Fear and Paralysis to Positive Action
When you feel paralyzed about taking action toward a desired
goal, fear of failure could be a possible reason. Fear of
failure can be a huge obstacle to taking positive action toward
your desired outcomes, because so much personal esteem and
happiness can depend on the outcome. After all, attempting
something important to you, only to fail at accomplishing
it, can potentially make you feel less than capable or deserving,
or even crushed at the outcome. So in order to prevent this
from happening, it's often easier to just never try at all.
If trying and not reaching your desired goal would feel terrible,
then dreaming about it and not taking action can feel far
more comfortable. That way, you can dream about what you want
and then create reasons for inaction to make yourself feel
better about never trying to reach your goal. You may even
convince yourself that you could do it, but rather than risk
failure, you can just dream, and stay safe. This is a natural,
self-protective mechanism. Your mind is truly brilliant, and
knows how to protect you from getting hurt.
To change fear of failure into a force for positive action,
you may have to change your thinking about what your desired
outcome means to you in terms of your own happiness. This
may surprise you, because what I'm suggesting is quite different
from what we usually hear. We're usually told something like:
"If you don't want it enough, you'll never get there", "Nothing
easy is worth having"… etc. Or even the much more seemingly
innocuous "What would make you happy?" The overall message
is that if it's worth having, it's going to involve a lot
of pain and struggle, but to achieve happiness, you must achieve
However, if your very happiness is riding on the success or
failure of this venture, you can literally block yourself
from trying, because so much is riding on the result.
So at this point, you can ask yourself these questions:
How much do I need to achieve this outcome in order to be
If I was still able to desire my goal without actually needing
it in order to be happy, what would happen? In other words,
can I accept reaching or not reaching my desired outcome and
still be happy?
What would happen if I chose to be happy right now?
You may say that having this attitude of happiness now could
cause you to lose motivation for your goal, your purpose,
or motivation for anything, for that matter, but I have another
proposal for you: What if actually being happy right now,
whether or not you accomplish your desired outcome, actually
made you more powerful in reaching it? You may find that wanting
a goal without attachment to the outcome can change paralysis
into positive, inspired action.
Does this attitude change guarantee that you'll reach your
goal? No, you may not reach your desired outcome, even with
this attitude. However, you're probably much more likely to
achieve what you want through happiness and ease than through
efforting and struggling against fear of failure and paralysis.
You may also say that it's not that simple to just "decide"
to be happy - that it's not the way the world works. But the
truth is that happiness is a decision, just as unhappiness
is a decision. It can be as simple or as complicated as you
want it to be. It's a decision that's independent of your
past experience, and of others' actions and opinions, unless
you wish it so. No one can tell you what to believe or think.
Any beliefs that were handed to you early on about the way
the world works, what you're supposed to feel or what you're
capable of are only truthful if you decide that they are.
You decide your own truth, every moment.
Sandra Sinclair is a personal development coach and
author of "The Happy Path Mini-Course - 5 clear steps you
can take to create your ideal life", a free mini-course, at:
Article Source: http://www.upublish.info
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